Archive | February, 2012

Mujra of adhocism

13 Feb

It seems for more than a decade now that Pakistan is running on ad hoc basis just like its cricket board. The phrase ‘prevention is better than cure’ perhaps has never came across our leader’s minds who in order to cope with natural disasters went into ad hoc reactionary mode rather than plan for long term basis. The prime examples of course off late are dengue crisis, floods, the killer medicine and so on.

The policy it seems has effected overall the psyche of every one in Pakistan. We try to abrupt actions (or reactions I should say) whenever an unexpected happens. Team performing badly? Blame Misbah! Team performing good? Hail Misbah! A TV host gone Vigil-Aunty? Sack the host and do not ponder on how it boiled down to that point. A bomb exploded somewhere? Distribute the money to deceased’s families and promise for investigations and better intelligence in future. a killer drug does mazurka? Start the blame game from federal to provincial to inter city conspiracy.

What best example would be to explain this psyche other than the politicians? People changing their stances more often than Children do nappies. They make ad hoc u turns whenever they feel like it. Let’s take Sheikh Rasheed for instance. I do not know whether many people remember his interviews with Dr Shahid Masood before elections in which he used to boost about the fact that next elections would be between liberals and conservative and PPP along-with PML-Q (including himself) will make an alliance.

Elections happened. The prophecy which initially was unfulfilled got fulfilled later but due to altogether different reasons.

Still Rawalpindi’s blue eyed boy got nothing out of it but empty hands. Now the gentle man is attending jahidist conferences and has shifted 180 degrees. He will be as quick to jump off that ship as well as soon as he find coast guard service that can save him from drowning.

Jokes about MQM’s ad hoc shift of policies have gone so stale that I do not even have any punches left for that. Or perhaps I do not want to get a punch from bhai log.

But the most interesting ad hoc decisions can be seen from showdown between PML-N and PTI. It seems both parties in their bid to make quick pins over the other either lashes out at the other’s policy or adopts it itself with their own brand name. Indeed attempts by PTI to send Ejaz Chaudhry to every mullah convention might be just to have their own Rana sahab in order to get on the right side of right wingers.

But nothing matches Shahbaz Sharif’s latest stroke of a genius. It all started of course with the 30 October Tsunami. And just like our leaders cope with natural disasters, PML-N decided to cope this new possible political disaster with many quick fire jibes and ad hoc schemes. It tried to push Mariam Nawaz as a leader of ‘youth’. That move backfired faster than Ian Bell’s average time spent on the pitch during the last test series. I mean honestly how in the world did PML-N expect to win sympathy of those who are already fed up of dynastic politics? Calling Mariam Nawaz a leader of youth is like calling Obama a symbol of change.

I mean that move was seriously ill panned and perfect example of ad hoc decision making when facing an issue. Than perhaps they though to do something tangible to appease the youth. A long term planner would have probably suggested serious educational reforms, creating opportunities for employment, not damaging Lahore’s cultural essence perhaps? Or may be, just MAY BE, some sane head would have suggested not to screw up children’s future by actually producing a correct result for higher secondary education?

But of course it had to be done quickly and without any plan whatsoever. And hurray! Distribute laptops among students like candies to children? Who cares! Its not like the bill has to come to Raiwind is it?

But event that was not convincing enough. Shocker! So now we come down to stroke of a genius we were talking about. Latest move to ‘appease’ the youth is to put mujra CDs among software ones along-with the free laptops being given. I mean it is all about keeping ‘youth’ happy isn’t it? And generally youth of Pakistan is not known to think from what is up there in their heads. I can not name from where they are known to think.

So that’s it, that is the answer. A quick ad hoc move that will certainly make youth go to stamp the lion symbols on the polling day. Shahbaz Sahrif can afford a well deserved rest and PTI will have to think of something else to appease the youth because hearing Imran Khan’s pre -recorded voice unexpectedly over your phone is simply gay.

Somewhere in his lounge, Waseem Akhtar is probably having a satisfactory smile while smoking two bori-band.