Archive | August, 2011

What Aamir apology should have been

16 Aug

Dear country men, ashiqan e Rasool SAW, brothers and sisters, Assalamolaikum Warehmatul….. O what the hell whom am I kidding, lets get straight to the issue here.

Yuh yuh I have seen the video. So what? Well did you think I recite Naats all the time or keep on crying my eyes off thinking of my akhirah? Come on people! I need some break as well. And judging by the amount of ample time you people have in discussing my issue, I think you would do well with some break also. Try watching real entertainment for a change rather than getting b**ers from entertainment provided by social and current affairs programs of Pakistan’s different TV channels for a change. I would recommend ‘Two and a Half Men’ which of course I have never watched myself because of immoral lead character who wears shorts all the time above his knees. Whats wrong Charlie Sheen? How old are you? I think besides from an episode in second season where you were trying to impress some ex girl friend about your maturity, you have always been naked from a shariah point of view.

I know all this in theory of course. I do not watch Na mehram knees of men. Hockey players excluded, that is.

Anyways! Coming back to my brothers and sisters. Well seriously I do not understand what is the issue here. Are you honestly telling me that you have never heard a religious person swear? And I am not even a scholar. Damn those people who introduce me as mumtaz alim e deen. Try youtube again for a moment, write a name of ‘any’ scholar of ‘any’ sect and mention ‘exposed’ or ‘filthy’ with it. If you can not find dozens of videos for them, I would be happy to cut my hands off. Didn’t you see the faces of those two scholars when I did a jibe at their opposite sect? How do you think I manage to keep them all happy? I would make jibes at other sects in front of different scholars of different sects. Its all part of keeping every one happy. Ain’t that what religion is all about eh? Are you telling me you never ridiculed any third person just our of peer pressure or gaining favors from a fourth person?

And why just limit it to scholars. After all they are humans as well. What about you guys? have you never found yourself waiting for Mathira’s late night show after you have said your isha prayers? Have you never been in a gathering where at one time you are using curse words all the time and at the very next moment, you start debating theology like there is no bigger googler than you? I can not keep a tab on every wikipedia scholar, but I am sure there would be cases where on forums while people would be discussing ethics of religion, they would have a head phone around their ears listening to Shakira’s ‘Hips dont lie’. Who knows may be in a small windows they watch it too.

But i do not judge of course.

Ok I might give it you about the part with the whole rape thing. That was probably my bad. But honestly did you look at that bearded guy’s face? I think we need to look into whole ‘alu’ thing again and not single out Inzamam. And honestly if you hear the video without looking at it, you would think the guy was in fact an ‘aalima’ and not an ‘aalim’. With such a fry-pan-like shape and kiddish voice, it was really hard to control. What? Have you never really laughed like hell when some funny face started giving opinions on serious issues even though the matter was not funny at all?

So my dear fellas give it a rest. We are all same ‘thali kay baingun‘. Lets just all stay focus and piss Deob… I mean yahoodo nasara off instead of focusing on each other.

Keep it real \m/