It seems I am finally set to do what I had always intended to, the moment I started using internet regularly i.e blogging. It took me many years but here I am.
But its hardly any thing to rejoice as my very first blog is not about some fairy tale. It is instead about a tragedy which has yet again in my life have triggered the old question in my mind. How some people will find the will to believe considering their circumstances? And if they chose not to believe, how can they be held responsible?
Through out my life, I have had mood swings about the belief system like a confused 12 year old who is uncertain about his concrete thoughts. At times, I have been hardcore believer, at times sceptic in every sense of its word and at times lost and bamboozled. Most of the times, I do not reflect my sceptic thoughts openly and mostly people confuse me with hardcore believer to the extent of being conservative (which I may as well be most of the times). I suppose my mind was most clear when I had been to Syria in the shrine of Bibi Zainab a.s where I thought if there is some God, He must be residing here.
But ideally God can not be confined to a place. Faith is carried by the person with in his heart and is irrelevant to the location in which the body resides. For all humans, faith and belief is somewhat relative. What strikes me as spiritual may not be the case with other person. Reasons for that can vary from emotional roots to strict brain washing. But every person likes to connect himself with something to achieve one fundamental objective every one cherishes i.e hope. No one can possibly deny that like some kind of connection whether spiritual or profitable which leads them to believe they have the back up for their failures. A theist needs to connect to God in order to hope his prayers may get answers. An atheist also is not free from the desire of hope and always has hope consciously or non consciously that he will get some kind of help from those connected to him in time of need. This feeling of hope is due to the fact that humans as individuals are weak. Either they need to rely on supernatural power or people to fulfil the needs. Ibn e Khaldun says, ‘Through cooperation, the needs of a number of persons, many times greater than their own (number), can be satisfied’. Survival of human being is dependant on cooperation with the society. While this cooperation benefits in a way, it also has drawbacks that humans tend to grow more weaknesses, every time they associate themselves with the new connection emotionally. But that is relative. Sometimes our connections make us strive to do more, while at other times it may create weakness which may result in an act that naturally may harm us. But because of our emotional connection, we will do so none than less. Again, hope plays a part. We hope that our action may benefit our emotional connection of the person/belief to which we are connected to. This idea gives a beneficial idea of altruism. But sometimes humans are shaken when hope perishes like thousand pieces of glass.
Two days ago, I got the news of my not-so-distant cousin’s tragic story. Just a day after he got a son, the time where normally people are arguing over what name shall be given to the child, the time when people usually send flowers, call you from all the way from the other parts of the world, congratulate you and the time where usually you get to see the faces of those people whom you normally do not see as they hug you with a broad smile (or in my family’s case, give you some notes with Jinnah’s photo on it), he got undoubtedly the worst shock any man can get.
He lost his son. In a time of one day.
I can only imagine what went through his mind. But I will fail miserably. Regarding the case of his wife, I do not even want to imagine what thoughts might be drifting to her minds right now, provided she is able to think after this tragedy. Nine months. Nine freakin months. This is the time normally one waits taking utmost care for the person who has not even come into this world. Special diet plans, extra care of walking during later months, buying different stuff all the time, arguing over kid’s room colour, checking books for child care, getting tips from nanis and dadis, cutting your personnel budget in order to get the best for the coming dude, do insurance plans and every thing else happens during this time. God only knows how the mother counts the deadline of delivery during this period. May be secretly smiling to herself, talking to baby inside her. Not to mention feeling labour pains when it finally happens.
All that. For nothing. One day. And all lost. What ever ‘hopes’ one has, gone in blink of an eye. How can a person who suffer such loss ‘hope’ after it? From where can such persons find the ‘will’ to believe? Or have faith. Its true that life does not stop for anything and eventually every one moves. But move on to what? The next hope? Why would any one hope if hopes are crushed so mercilessly?
I am reminded of course of Ali Asghar a.s in Karbala. It is natural to me think of him any time I hear a loss of young child. The faith of mothers of Karbala never shook even after they lost every thing. I can only hope the faith is not disturbed here as well. The emblem of faith is the belief ‘we came from God and to him we will return’. While it takes only 10 seconds to merely say these words, it takes a lot more effort to actually believe in it in every sense of the word. Why God would test the belief in such a way that a person finds hard to have the ‘will’ to believe? THAT I do not know. I can only hope that God has stored something better in return for this. But that again is of course ‘hope’.